used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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