did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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