everyone is single if you try hard enough
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
