Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize