if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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