My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
