and she was petting her beer can
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
