it wasn't lemon gatorade
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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