we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
