real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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