Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How does it feel to date your dad?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
