No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
