uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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