Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
