She said her name was "party"
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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