i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
