well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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