watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
