its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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