Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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