If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm at about main and main street
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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