she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
