I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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