Do vagina's smell?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
