You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
