I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
