I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Randomize
