Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize