my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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