problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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