my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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