didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize