nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
