We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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