the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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