I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
