He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
