I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
