Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
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