tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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