What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
