how can u be prego again
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
