it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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