at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
