haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
