Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
