whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
