Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
