I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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