I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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