would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
