I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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