Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
