we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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