people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
