listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize