Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
